Cry out to Jesus

Jesus.....This isn't easy…Serving you father...I know you are here. I am waiting...I need to hear from you....I can close my eyes and sense your presence...I can feel the gentleness of your touch as you comfort my weary soul. Why is this so hard? In your presence is where I am safe, you are my refuge. I am crying out to you in my times of uncertainty...This smile that I wear, its becoming heavy...How long Lord until I hear you call my name.

This road we have chosen as Christ followers is not the easy road, this is the road many start on but, soon become weary in their journey. Why?? Whose idea was it to take Jesus out of The Body of Christ? If we are not going there with an expectation to meet The King of Kings, why are we going? Well planned programs do not usher in the transforming power of Jesus Christ...Half hazard worship or a song service quenches the Holy Spirit...He is grieved by our pride and arrogance. Where has the importance of prayer gone...Why have we shunned the Spirit of the Living God? Where is repentance?

Jesus.....Jesus......What have we done? Revive the hearts of humanity!!! We need you…

Hear my cries oh God....Rain down on us...... Touch your people.....Your blood was not shed in vain...We need you....God your never failing love is manifested daily in all that you created... Rain on us...We need you...

Surrounded by so much confusion and Godlessness...This is the time for the believers in Christ Jesus to stand for something...Rise up....Shake off those grave clothes and come forth from the wreckage and praise Him...Go to The Word...READ THE RED LETTERS!!! The time is now...What if tomorrow never comes?

And We Danced...

Remember your childhood, every new day was a new adventure....The minute your eyes opened you were ready to go...New days brought new lessons, holidays brought so much excitement.. The innocence of our childhood brought such wondrous expectations and a faith that we struggle to maintain as adults. Isn't it ironic how we spend a lot of our childhood wishing we were adults and being adults we often wish we could go back to being children again??

My relationship with Jesus has been a journey into my past...My salvation experience a miracle....My Christianity, a place where I have endured many personal struggles....My Jesus began transforming me from the simplest things to those hidden things that are deep within the very depths of my soul...Those things that have been covered by years of internal suffering and shame..The day I said my prayer of salvation was the day that the shackles of my sin were broken off and I began a journey to emotional and spiritual freedom...The weight of my sin was lifted...The sky seemed brighter, I saw things from somebody elses eyes...It was Jesus!!... I was seeing everything differently...So many things we take for granted...I noticed things I had never paid attention to in the past..

On that day I accepted Jesus..He became my friend..I had someone to talk to...Someone who would never judge me...He loved me no matter what..My soul groaned with such a desire to know Him more and more...I wanted to hear his voice and feel his touch...I wanted to hear Him call my name...

I remember the day like it was yesterday..So much had gone on in a short time of my life in Christ..I had received Him...Attended church and obtained so much knowledge in a short time...It became overwhelming to me..I not only could hear Him call my name, I could see his face and feel His hand as it brushed away my tears..AND THEN....... I laid hopeless on my sofa so confused about the happenings of the last few months...My heart felt like it had been torn to pieces...So much despair and loneliness...Where had Your Spirit gone oh Lord??? How had this happened I sought after you and served you where I was needed..I spoke your words in obedience...What happened?? So many unanswered questions...I felt a creeping darkness take a hold of my sou... Help me, I demanded...I can't find you!!!! I am afraid ...I was hiding my face against the back of my sofa...sobbing...I am afraid!!!! I asked, Were you ever with me? I believed in you..now I am here alone....I began to shutter in my soul, I felt as if the room had dropped 20 degrees...The trembling that was occurring, was a fear that I did not believe existed...I knew for certain it was an evil presence....It was with me in the room, it was hovering over me, I felt familiar emotions of desperation, hopelessness, and despair...

Where did this come from?? I was wounded..I had been beat down, to where I couldn't do it another day..The lies of the enemy had ensnared me...I was drowning, I was dying a spiritual battle that years before I had found victory in...I recall crying for several hours, unable to stop...Where is my victory...Where is my Jesus?? How could something like this happen to me after all I had sacrificed...Where are all these people who I called friends? Oh thinking back... it causes such a well of emotion..This was disconnection....

I finally got the strength and rolled over on the sofa to look the enemy of my soul in the eyes...I saw nothing in the natural, yet I sensed an uneasiness change the atmosphere...I yelled JESUUUUS!!!!! I need you...Come..Come to me...I am weak...I don't feel you..Hurry..Your word says....And in an instant there He was.....Oh.. He is so beautiful..My heart sank into my stomach...Here you are....He was standing in the distance..He seemed so far away from me..The room became calm , the air had warmed...As he stepped toward me..I could see His eyes, the corners of His mouth were turned up slightly...He didn't say a word but his eyes pierced through me...I froze on the couch that day, in utter awe of his presence...He was clothed in the finest of linen...I smiled back softly, in fear that if I had moved suddenly He would be gone...I could feel the tears rolling down my cheeks...He approached me...I could see the expression lines on His forehead, I thought my King.. Are those lines from the sorrow you have for your people..I reached out my hand....Will you hold my hand??....He nodded slightly and said ...May I have this dance?? He grabbed me and embraced me in a way that I cannot explain...I felt a surge of energy fill me, every cell in my body lept...I felt as if we had become one soul...There was no seperation between He and I....We danced...He looked at me and said...You are never alone Michelle....Next time my daughter don't wait so long to call my name...I was waiting anxiosly to dance with you.... I gasped and..He was gone.....

It's Me Again...

In the Beginning.......Upon becoming a Christian so many things made sense and then some things made no sense at all..Looking back at my past caused so many emotions; happiness, sadness, confusion, and shame.

Reflecting on my life, I spent most of my spare time in silence...The tears that I shed, I believe were tears of release and instrumental in the process of my healing. The laughter I indulged in was also therapy to my soul...Driving to work one day, I thought what could be more therapeutic than writing every thought, dream, fear, idea, quote, song lyric that touches my soul.

These entries will be from the very depth of my soul and will reveal the secret places I went to in my lowest and highest places in The Lord. My prayer is that my experiences and thoughts will take you on a spiritual journey with Jesus, one of healing, release and freedom!!! Remember..... embrace every experience, learn from it, and move towards the next adventure...Happiness is a priceless emotion as sadness is a teaching emotion. Indulge in your quiet time.....Listen to the voice of the Lord.