Looking For Love?

I had read so many books on Christian marriage, each author with their own opinions on intimacy between the husband, wife and The Lord....My ninth year wedding anniversary is on February 17th....That will be my second ninth year anniversary...Let me explain....My husband and I were married twice..When we got saved we were living together...Your probably thinking yeah so, that happens all the time...Well, not only were we living together I was still married to a man that was serving several years in prison...Now, don't get judgmental on me, let me finish....My first husband who I married at 22 years of age was accused and arrested for statutory rape 5 months after my daughter was born...He was the love of my life( I thought)..After his incarceration I became very bitter and began to live a lifestyle that was engulfed in sin and addiction...I felt so betrayed , I was humiliated..You see my ex- husband was a business owner and a role model in our community..The families in our community trusted us as people, business owners and with their children...The reason I am telling you all of this is because I want you to see the big picture...And because I am not ashamed of my life before Christ...My life before Jesus is gone...Behold all things have become new!!!..O.k back to my story..When my husband and I met ...I had 2 children with my ex- husband, met a great guy in between him and my husband today..We had a son(who is amazing)..But, I was so unhealthy I screwed that up...So, as you can see my track record wasn't that good...So, I meet Pablo (my hubby)..It is obvious to you by now, that love was something I did not know and intimacy was not a word I rarely heard of, never mind understand it...Love had been replaced by lust and intimacy just did not exist in my world.....Pablo told me shortly after meeting me that he was going to marry me...Remember, I was still married...Any way, months after meeting we moved in together, Pablo is an amazing guy, he took on the responsibility of 3 children that were not his own..He helped pay the bills and babysat my kids while I attended school at night...I began to love him(the best way I knew how)..We talked about marriage often but, I honestly never saw it in our future..Well, on mothers day 10 years ago, he popped the question , it was beautiful...We got saved soon after that..After our salvation we began to read the Bible and attend church regularly..As we grew in our faith being engaged and married to another man became an evident issue..(even if he had been locked up for a few years)......My love for God was growing, my love for Pablo was changing..I wanted to marry Pablo, I wanted to be his wife more than I had ever wanted anything else!! We had sought council from our Pastor regarding the issue of adultery and living together, the man of God directed us to scripture, instructed us to pray and ask for direction..We did just that...My point of all of this is this....Pablo and I were establishing an intimacy with Jesus, we were seeking His face, wanting to know him deeper..When we drew nearer to Him we began to change..We realized our lives did not line up with His word.. we decided to make a covenant with each other and God to refrain from sexual immorality until my divorce was final and we were married...I can say to all of you today that was a very difficult promise to keep, but we did it!!!!..I was so sick of repeating the same old mistakes, I was tired of broken relationships, breaking the hearts of my children and feeling hopeless....My love for Jesus had superseded any relationship I had ever known, I loved Him so much that I didn't want to disappoint Him..And I loved Pablo so much that I didn't want to lose him or push him away..I wanted God to bless my marriage and teach me how to love Pablo completely, I also wanted to be loved....On Nov.17th 2000 I was divorced at 1:00 pm and married to my beautiful husband by 1:15pm..In the same office we received The Lord as our Savior , I came into an intimate union with God my Fatherr and Pablo my husband....We remained faithful to our covenant and 9 years later, we are happy, raising kids, we have a grand daughter, own a business and serving in ministry together....Intimacy with Jesus taught me how to love Pablo, I even learned to love myself, I have received forgiveness from those whom I have wounded, and I have forgiven my ex husband ..You see saints, when you come into a place of intimacy with Jesus he teaches you all you are "willing" to learn..

The Ministry of Grace

Grace...a word I know well!!

My grandmothers name was Gwendolyn Ruth Kennedy...She passed away before my oldest son was born (17 years ago). Amazing Grace was the song I would sing to her (only the first verse). I had not an ounce of understanding about the song or the word "grace" for that matter. I just knew she loved it and the words spoke to me, I now know they were speaking to my soul...

Grace is a word I have not only come to know but, I have had revelation upon revelation that has opened up a deeper understanding and a freeing power.

As I have said many times in the past, my salvation experience was a radical one...a Jesus encounter!!

My husband and I were in a small office, on Cape Cod Ma., We had made plans to distract and freak out the "God Guy!" With every attempt at distracting him and saying things that, I thought would make him throw my husband and I out of his office....Well,it didn't work, it seemed that the more darkness we poured out, the more his eyes filled with tears and the gentler he became. Can you understand my frustration? The tattoos and piercings weren't working, the black makeup didn't phase him, the "gangsta" attire wasn't working either. Our intentions were to make his head spin, how in the world was he making "our" heads spin? Well I now know it was "grace!"

I don't have any deep "theology" on the subject. What I do have is revelation-A divine impartation from the Holy Spirit.
OK back to the story.....

That day my husband and I accepted Christ as our Savior our names were written in the Lambs book of Life...Thank you Jesus!!

That head spinning feeling from the God Guy was... The absence of judgement,sincerety and no fear of "our nonsense." It was a love that he too had obtained from God's grace bestowed upon him.
After leaving the office that day...My husband and I had nothing to talk about,it was a long, silent car ride back home.

This is my 10th year serving the Lord and the understanding of grace has not only become deeper for me but, has become the foundation of my ministry.

Check this out-It doesn't matter what you've done, what you were in the past, how educated you are, what gender you are. The grace of Jesus Christ says-You are loved, you are good enough! It says you were worth dying for!...

Divine Revelation...Outside of the BOX

Remember as a child getting a book and thinking it was a really dumb gift. Only until you realized it was a “pop up” book?! As a little girl I would think those were the greatest gifts to receive. You would open the cover AND THERE IT WAS the whole story in 3D….The town, the street signs, the whole story larger than life! The greatest one I had ever received came in a fancy box that clasped together with a long ribbon that could be tied into a fancy bow….Oh yeah, this book even had the little tabs that you pulled and it would open cardboard windows and doors and pots that were without flowers suddenly had them…Cool, cool, cool!!!...A whole different world in a box……..

As an adult I still walk directly toward the “pop up’ book section in the book store they have made great gifts for both of my daughters, and now my grand daughter…I even bought my 11 year old son one this Christmas that contained pirate ships…Imagination in a box…..

Is that what ministry has come too?? Is that what we have done with God??...Believers, have we turned our relationship with Jesus into a “pop up” book in a fancy box. Leaders are we planting churches and establishing ministries on a system of programs that have been already established…Church in a box ….There was a negative about those pop up books, it took away any opportunity for creative imagination….Do you think that keeping God in a box or automatically choosing programs to build “better” ministries takes away the opportunity for Divine revelation??....Don’t hear what I’m not saying ...There are some great books and very anointed studies out there…However, the best book is The Bible and anointed teachings are on its pages.. Pop up programs, commercial Christianity, God in a box……There isn’t a box big enough to fit our God!!! There isn’t a program out there that will work without the anointing of the Holy Spirit…

Living in the South now for 4 years (native Yankee)..One thing there is not a shortage of is churches…There is at least 2 within ½ a mile radius of each other. All different denominations, some structures are free standing, some are store fronts, one is a refurbished bank (drive thru window still intact)…At Christmas they all have Christmas cantatas/pageants, there is a church barbecue almost every weekend in the spring /summer months, spaghetti dinners, etc.. etc…How much spaghetti can a non believer eat??...Do you get the “pop up” picture??...

Divine revelation people….Our times have changed and are continuing to change….Let God out of the box… We need holy spirit conviction, NOT man’s condemnation, we need His guidance, we need His wisdom…The programs aren’t working, they have lost their effectiveness….Jesus set before us a life giving message, that never loses its effectiveness…The same scripture read by different people, or even at different stages in life can open up lessons, programs and revelation that is divinely inspired….A divinely inspired “pop up” that changes from reader to reader. Now that’s cool!!!..

A Spiritual Resolution for the Saints - Compassion through God's Eyes

Knowing a week ago that the topic of this blog would be on spiritual resolution made me a little nervous….Resolution huh?? Oh my goodness its one of those things I have to attempt to keep New years resolutions have more often been things I have broken then kept…. And of course its not any resolution its a “spiritual” resolution…The definition of resolution in the Webster’s Dictionary is…A decision to do something or behave in a certain manner…Well, that eases my mind a little, it doesn’t say to commit to something or make a covenant about something….I want to believe that resolutions are intended to be kept and the people that make them have intentions to keep them…What is it about The New Year that gets us excited for new beginnings, suddenly we are ready to get things in order, lose weight, adjust our finances, blah, blah, blah….Then as suddenly as the desire comes in for change it begins to fade away…..Sad, sad, sad but true!!!

Anyways…..Enough stalling Michelle……Talking to myself is a bad habit!!.. :)

2010…The Year of the Lord…This has been stirring in my spirit for several months. This is not only a holiday that will bring in the “sense” of new beginnings. I believe this is the beginning, the beginning of a spiritual shift, a spiritual awakening, an out pouring of Gods power it is the year of The Lord!! So where does my spiritual resolution fit in to this up and coming season??

My spiritual resolution is this….To prepare ye the way of the Lord!! I am committed to allow the transforming power of the gospel of Jesus Christ to be expressed through my words, attitude and actions I am willing to pray without ceasing and seek after the kingdom and all of its righteousness….This seems to be a lot and a bit intimidating however, the driving force behind this resolution is every soul that is without the peace of God and the gift of salvation…With 2010 coming and the word of the Lord being ..”Prepare the way for my coming”, doesn’t that mean to get His people ready, “all” people….Luke 19:10 reads, “The son of Man came to seek and save what was lost.”…Are we not called to be like Christ? We are expected to have the same heart of compassion as Christ has for all humanity...To prefer others over ourselves...With that being my resolution I have a challenge for you… Where ever you are grocery store, mall, work, ask the Holy Spirit to give you the compassion of Christ for every person you can see. Ask Him for His heart and His eyes, then wait (patiently) you will begin to feel sorrow, fear and COMPASSION! Do not turn away keep pressing through, look into their souls. Maybe this years resolution will concern the change of others and not ourselves, maybe this year our resolutions will make a difference in the world…This year isn’t about us at all its going to be the year of the Lord! Happy New Year Saints of God!!!

A Baby Changed Everything...

On December 10th 2009, I had the awesome pleasure of watching my sons daughter come into the world..As he stood next to his fiance assisting her in her contractions, he peered over to see the delivery of his daughter take place...I will never forget the look on "my" 17 year old baby's face as he laid his eyes on his baby for the first time....It was something only understood if you had experienced it yourself, my words do not give justice to the expression on his youthful, frightened face. The hardest thing for me, I would say was revisiting my experience delivering my precious baby boy...I was in awe of his young fiances courage and strength...I was overtaken by the emotions of gaining a granddaughter and watching my son before my eyes go from a boy to a man with the love of a father exhuming from his spirit...That day has left me pondering many things, I went from a mom to a grandmother I saw my son change from boy to a man, I watched a young girl transform into the very life source of another soul...The glory of God had flooded that hospital room in such force it became a tangible presence...My son who over the years has become very bitter toward the things of God declared with his mouth, "Look what God has done, how could any one deny God's existence, thank you Jesus for my daughter!!"..Well as you can imagine, as a mom, I lost it!!!.....This precious little child changed everything...My son saw the love of God through the birth of his daughter..My grand daughter Cadyn was 10 days earlier than expected, but not a minute to soon!!!!...That little baby changed everything!!!!In my quiet time I have reflected on my sons face and wept, completely overwhelmed with the unfailing love of the Father...And the love for my son...The love for this precious little girl..And the realization of the day that the baby Jesus took His first earthly breath...As God the Father watched Mary bring forth His beloved, what he must have felt watching her strain through each contraction...Mary was God's daughter, the chosen vessel in which The Messiah would grow and be brought into the world...God watched as a father of Jesus, as the father of Joseph, and as the father of Mary...He watched as His creation, created!!!! As Mary and Joseph wept and gave glory to God for His gift, I believe God also wept!!! That day, Christmas day a baby changed everything!!!!! This season, remember that every human being is a gift to God and that Jesus came into the world for the salvation of every person, that He was born to die..That the miracle of HIS birth is this... When Jesus took His first breath and let out his first cry...That was the beginning of the "gift" of your salvation!!! This season stop for just a moment and look into the faces of your gifts from God and share the story of that baby's cry..Before any packages get torn open or a single gift is unwrapped, take a moment and reflect!!! The cry of that infant child, was the same cry that came from that same child of God hanging on a cross on Calvary....Christmas: a time of celebration, vivid colors, joyful music and time spent with family and friends..The food is fabulous and the aromas of Christmas are nostalgic...Even better than all of these things wrapped up together in a beautiful package with a big fat bow is the meaning of this joyous holiday!!!!..That meaning is JESUS!!!.....MERRY CHRISTMAS SAINTS!!!! HE IS THE ONLY REASON FOR THIS SEASON!!!!!

The Kingdom of God is here and now...

The Kingdom of God is here and now... I've said that to myself now about 5 times... Every time I say it the more excited I become...

My name is Michelle, my blog style is probably very different from the others written on this page... It is a bit intimidating being among such awesome inspiration and revelation... However, I'm up for the challenge... After all,The Kingdom of God is here and now!!!

What an awesome time in history this is for the sons and daughters of God. The spiritual realm and physical realm is under such distress and we as the body of believers have a front row seat... I come to you today with a word of encouragement !!! Remain faithful and do not become weary in well doing... Saints of God, this is the season for the harvest...This is the time for the body of believers to put into practice what Jesus spoke in Luke 4:18-19(nkjv)...

"The spirit of the Lord is upon Me, Because He has anointed Me to preach the gospel to the poor;He has sent Me to heal the broken hearted, to proclaim liberty to the captives And recovery of sight to the blind, To set at liberty those who are oppressed;To proclaim the acceptable year of the Lord."

All I can say is WOW!! We are placed strategically in our cities , towns, jobs, etc..for this very reason. Jesus has prepared the way and sent us to the people that need to hear the good news. At the time of our salvation saints, we received the awesome gift of eternal life and a life time partner and guide... "The Holy Spirit!". Because The Spirit of the Lord is upon every believer you are anointed!!! You/we were recruited into the service of the Lord. The Kingdom of God is here and now. So, my question is this: Saints what are we waiting for? There are people dying with out Christ, there are needs all around us. It's our responsibility to disarm the spirit of infliction, poverty and wickedness. Jesus never said it was going to be easy. You're going to be considered odd, different... So what!!Leave your reputation behind!!!Saints we need to call things as if they were!! People may ask you, "Who do you think you are??" Your response will be a son/ daughter of The Living God!!

With the kingdom ever present all that's done in the name of the Lord is for the building up of His kingdom. Our purposes are becoming greater in these days, I sense in my spirit the urgency of the Fathers cries for sincerity in His servants, for a fresh passion ignited by the realization of His cross and his inevitable return.There is much to accomplish in our short visit here on earth with not much time to waste. All this laboring we are doing over the Saints, and all of our own personal struggles are for God's purposes, and the purpose of the building up of His Kingdom.

So rise up!! All this "stuff" we are dealing with is for something!! Hooray!!