What does it mean to allow your anointing to be prostituted or even worse yourself to be prostituted?
Why is it so easy to give away the jewels the Lord has placed on the inside of me to undeserving people?
I guess the ultimate question is whats wrong with me?
Different views...different values...
Is it considered a sacrifice to do whatever needs to be done for the peace and happiness of others, if it in turn sends your own soul to hell?
Do you wait until the peace and happiness of those you love is satisfied,than run far away from the lies?
If you have run the race this long why not keep running?
But at the expense of others as well as my own sanity?
Lord, you have heard my plea
for provision, a security in my natural. You have heard my deepest
desires, the longing of my heart, my aspirations. My passion for you has not
died, my love for you has not faded. My endless pleas for vindication
have not subsided. Yet I am torn by the echoing laughter of happiness and
the taunting laughter of ravenous demons, who feed and devour me with
thoughts of guilt and shame. Not the shame of guilt past and forgotten
but that of the sin I still reside in.. The state of untruth, the
lifestyle of lies..But Lord, it is blanketed by the smells of a
kitchen and the rhythm of younger feet across a hard wood floor. The pain
is masked by the smiles of faces looking back at me with sighs of relief
and painted images of family. Yet, in all of this my soul longs for
deeper things, pure things, things of spiritual substance..Freedoms from
self and corrupt ways.. In this I only desire you...
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